Tuesday, May 22, 2012

It Takes A Village to Care For One Handicapped Person

My dad has been taking care of my mom 24/7, with some help here and there. I have been going there once a week when I'm able to. Other family members have been going there once a week for a few hours, but it's just not enough. My dad gets so stressed out and overwhelmed. He doesn't know how to cope with this. I have felt overwhelmed and stressed out and I'm not even there 24/7!
People have been bringing meals to them, too. A woman comes over to give my mom a bath, a physical therapist comes over to help mom walk (she's only there for an hour), and they've been seeing a counselor that has been telling my dad things like, "If I had to go through what you go through, I'd be drinking every day." and "You need to put her in a nursing home." Instead of helping my dad cope, the counselor is giving my dad ideas that are not healthy solutions. I told my aunt about it, hoping she would call the counselor and chew her out, and she suggested I call the doctor who recommended the counselor.

For the past month, I've been getting a yard sale organized to help raise money for mom and dad so that they have money to pay for the medical bills and for someone to come over so my dad could get a break. We had the yard sale last Saturday and didn't make as much as I'd hoped. I'm so relieved the yard sale is over. It was so stressful for me. I get stressed out easily, just as my dad does. Raising a family of 6 with very little income and very messy kids is enough stress for me that I don't need any added stress. Yet, I am expected to jump right in and organize all sorts of things for my mom and dad. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one. There are so many people who could help, and there are people who help, but it's just not enough.  It is time for my mom and dad to have someone move in with them to care for my mom. My dad is not mentally capable of handling it all. If he was physically incapable of taking care of my mom, then they would have to have someone move in, or my mom would have to live with someone or be in a nursing home. So the way I see it, if you are not mentally capable of taking care of someone, it is the same as if you were physically incapable.  So I'm going to talk to my mom and dad about it today when I see them.